At the risk of sounding “ranty”….

People complain too much. Seriously. Especially those of us who live in the 1st world. Look, the vast majority of us have the same problems but we choose to handle adversity differently. Ou know what? I believe everyone needs a good dose of “Shut the F— Up”, and I would be a great candidate to deliver the medicine.

Yes, I said it and don’t judge me either. I’m feeling hypocritical because I’ve told my husband to take the opportunity to practice kindness as much as possible, and yet I feel like I too have reached a threshold. Oh how I wish I could deliver the “Shut the F— Up” antidote to everyone… If only we could queue up large masses of people and make them bend over to receive a shot in the …… derrière, perhaps we could be cured of some of the personality traits I will address shortly. I feel fairly confident I am not the only person in the free world who feels this way.

Annnnnd while I am on a roll, when was we the last time we cured anything anyway? I think the antidote should be a healthy concoction of a few slaps and perhaps a kick. The salve for the trauma would be a tongue lashing in perspective, gratefultness, and overall adjustment to attitude.

Now that I let loose on a minor diatribe…Okay okay okay, perhaps this may sound a little bit IMG_0178drama queen-ish, even extreme perhaps. Nevertheless, I am allowed to my opinion and let me get right to it.

The current culture (viewed from my lens) continues to navigate this strange landscape in our country.

1. Politically (and socially) we are divided.
2. Financially we are hurting, but the stock market is doing fantastic.
3. We’re more racially divided.
4. We lack compassion, removing religion from everything.
5. We want better education but don’t take advantage of what we currently have.
6. We maintain this love/hate stance on immigration.

Juhhhhhhhst about daily I listen to grown adults discuss feeling inadequate, unappreciated, unimportant, …. devalued. People are hurting. My mother has always said, “When the pain gets deep enough, you are required to change. Pray for the sufficient amount of pain to come.” Of course, some of these people simply resort to the first personality trait that’s so freaking annoying…. learned helplessness.

Learned helplessness is behavior typical of a human or non-human animal and occurs where an animal endures repeatedly painful or otherwise aversive stimuli which it is unable to escape or avoid. After such experience, the organism often fails to learn or accept “escape” or “avoidance” in new situations where such behavior would likely be effective. In other words, the organism learned that it is helpless in situations where there is a presence of aversive stimuli and has accepted that it has lost control, and thus gives up trying. Such an organism is said to have acquired learned helplessness.


For those who suffer from learned helplessness, I guess they never reach that sufficient amount of pain to change. I watch them wallow in self-pity, wishing things were different, but taking no action to make any changes. It is a terrible, terrible thing to see a grown man lose his dignity. Some shuffle along, not swinging their arms, head hung low, looking pitiful. There is never a shortage of complaints.

To be surrounded by people who are hopeless when they have much to be thankful for is tough. Perhaps we put our faith and trust in things that don’t matter. Self worth plummets when the bank account looks bad. Dignity is compromised when we are placed in positions where we must ask for help. Humility no longer holds a place in our culture, or communities. Love for our brother appears to be a waning affection. Everything is me me me. So if we are no longer in a position of power, we learn to be helpless. We learn to accept the status quo. We learn to be unhappy. It’s contagious. It’s like our culture forgets the earth is still tilted and rotates about its axis.

Kirk Franklin has a song “Wanna Be Happy?“. Listening to that song now has renewed meaning.

My point is we learn to passively accept all the sucky things thrown at us and won’t work to make changes or change our mindset. We become content with being a malcontent. My mother always reminds us “you are no longer the victim, you are the volunteer”. The biggest disappointment for me is knowing we still have so much to be thankful for. Many people in far away lands would love to awaken to the luxury of not facing religious persecution, bullet fire, empty food shelves, an actual job (even if it is a sucky one), potable water, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

So yeah, I am not as sympathetic to the person who is pissed because they are not as rich as others. My value is not in being financially rich (although I definitely could use more coins and seek to be financially savvy), but in maintaining my faith in Christ and good health. For those who are not particularly religious, I can understand wanting to turn away from this post.

We live in a culture that relishes “learned helplessness” when our chase for things are not skewed in our favor.

Next, I am so sick of everyone being a martyr. A martyr is

1. a person who willingly suffers death rather than renounce his or her religion.
2. a person who is put to death or endures great suffering on behalf of any belief, principle, or cause: a martyr to the cause of social justice.
3. a person who undergoes severe or constant suffering: a martyr to severe headaches.
4. a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc.

I suspect we have a culture of self martyrs because people are looking for ways to elevate themselves to be important. Perhaps this notion of martyrdom is giving them PURPOSE, or even value. Sometimes the martyrdom pops out at these random times.

I’ve been equally guilty of this. I’m ashamed. I would allow myself to “take one for the team” as if I was doing something of great value. Then I would talk about how I “took one for the team”. Looking back I recognize the lack of humility. Looking back, I see just how foolish I was. Looking back, I see how broken I was. I fell on my sword in order to make myself seem better.

Don’t judge me.

A buddy of mine invited me to be his FitBit buddy and to join a small challenge. I figured “why not?” and accepted his friendship invitation and challenge. Everything was moving along fine and I decided to invite him to some of the challenges I participate in. Now let me warn you, these challenges are not for the weak… and I never win. The ladies that participate in these challenges are fit, retired (in their 50s), and do not like losing. I repeat, they DO NOT LIKE LOSING. This is where it gets hilarious.

My buddy felt confident in his daily steps/ability to thrash everyone in the challenges I’m part of. I already knew I was just middle of the pack with my 14k steps (thanks to tennis). Whenever he thought he was closing in on the lead, my ladies stepped it up… pun intended. I mean they took off. Trust me, these women look amazing, one of them is a former model for Essence magazine I believe. Anyway, after participating for 2 straight weeks and recognizing he could not win, he kind of came up with a lame excuse. He said he was going to join challenges with his friends that don’t have nearly as many steps and that way he could motivate them. He did not want them to see his steps being so high because then it may discourage them.

After much more prodding, it comes out he believed he could not ever win in the challenges. First, it was disappointing because he was acting like a millenial… everyone gets a trophy syndrome. We are GenerationX dammit! Not everyone is gonna get a trophy. So instead of being in competition with himself, he would rather join a challenge with ladies where he can be the big winner and not have to push himself to get 20k+ steps. He would rather reduce his steps in order to motivate women who were barely getting 5k steps.

Are you kidding me?

So yeah, it starts as small as the darn FitBit

There are other personality traits that bug the crap out of me such as extreme narcissism, people who “floor” (those who try to dominate in discussions), habitual liars, people who always have a crisis, and people in denial. Just for today I expressed my opinion on only the two mentioned through this post.

Dont judge me. I’m human too!

Originally posted 2017-03-19 09:36:29. Republished by Blog Post Promoter